Take control of your life

Want to live the life you always hoped for? Take control of your life and start now

If there’s one thing we’d all like to be an expert on, it’s life. In younger years we may expect that upon reaching adulthood, we’d have all the answers to all the questions and know exactly how to thrive in all situations. But then the realisation hits you that actually, it’s not that easy, and mistakes and muddles fill everyday existence.

It was the nine hundredth time that I’d heard a friend wail, ‘I wish someone would just tell me how to live my life,’ that prompted me to find out more about life coaching. If I wanted someone to teach me how to play netball, I’d find a sports coach. To teach me how to speak Spanish, a language coach. To instruct me on a happy and healthy life – a life coach, surely?

The term life coach is a hazy one. It’s not helped by the fact that no official guidelines exist to license someone in this field and there are no recognised qualifications. Credentials vary, and while schools exist, there are no regulatory bodies in operation. What exactly makes someone an expert on life? And how do they differ from therapists, counsellors and psychologists?

Karen Liebenguth who runs Green Space Coaching in London compares counselling to archaeology, where the focus is upon looking back into the past, whereas life coaching is more akin to architecture. ‘You’re in the place in your life where you’re ready to move forward. A coach will draw from your wisdom and insight to begin drafting the ‘blueprints’ for your future,’ she tells me as we walk around Victoria Park, the green space in which she conducts many of her sessions. This is a strategy designed to make her clients connect with the world and free themselves from routine space. People may visit a life coach not necessarily because something is wrong but because they feel a dissonance between how things are now and how they’d like them to be. They want to achieve more and feel happier.

Carol Ann Rice knows the scepticism with which life coaching can be met. Having seen the sham operations and how ill-equipped some coaches are, she set up and runs her own coaching business, Pure Coaching Academy, aiming for ‘people to view coaches with awe and respect and see us as professional heavy weights up there with lawyers; not dippy do-gooders or kindly hobbyists.’

But what is it they actually do? Rather than prescribe a set of rules or give an authoritarian approach to help someone, the role of a life coach is one of guidance. It’s true that most of us are our own experts on our own lives – but we can’t always see this. Challenging current modes of thinking and enabling people to gain perspective often comes by being a good listener and questioner.

So if it is just about asking questions and repeating ideas back to people, is life coaching really a profession? Especially one that can charge up to £500 an hour?

After my session with Karen I did feel more focused, and actually made the biggest change possible in my life. She didn’t tell me anything new. It’s true that we may already know most of the answers, but if we’re not acting on them, they become redundant. It’s all about empowerment, and providing people with the tools to ignite their catalyst for change. Whether we use a life coach, self-help book, therapist, or a best friend’s shoulder, the idea of taking responsibility and moving forward in our lives is crucial, and cannot be underestimated.

I ask her to give me one piece of advice. A life coach ‘tweet’ if you will. Ask yourself: am I living the life I want to live? And if the answer is no, begin now.