5 reasons to always be yourself

Having trouble accepting who you are? Katherine Ducie makes it easier with 5 reasons to always be yourself.

Being true to yourself is hard, especially when you’re a teenager. I think we can all relate to those times at school when we did something just to fit : having a drag of a fag, undoing your top button because it was cool and making sure you owned the most popular brand of school shoes (for me that was Kickers). In fact, being yourself is hard even as an adult. It’s easy to follow the crowd and do what’s socially acceptable – that’s how you might feel comfortable, but in doing that you lose sense of yourself.

Life coach Liz Goodchild says: ‘accepting who you are looks like knowing that you’re not perfect, that you make mistakes and are human – you won’t always do and say the right thing, and that’s totally okay. Treat yourself like you treat your best friend. We can be so hard on ourselves – constantly measuring ourselves against other people. Realise that others aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are – and I mean that in the most positive of ways!’

It’s sometimes easier to put up a front because we’re scared of our true selves being rejected. In doing that you’re hiding those interesting qualities that define you… and that most probably people will love! So don’t suppress those unique qualities that make you remembered, embrace them. Imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same? Don’t be a people pleaser, be a self-pleaser and do what YOU want to do. Here are 5 reasons to be yourself:

1. Make better friends

Pretending to be interested in something just to please someone – we’ve all been there. Just because someone else is enthusiastic about that one thing doesn’t mean you have to be. Whether that’s a certain genre of music or even a TV series – say what really interests you. You’ll feel more comfortable rather than being caught up in little lies. Chances are they’ll like you just the same and you’ll find other mutual interests. If not, they’re not really your type of person after all.

Liz says: ‘It might be that you’re a loyal friend, and expect this to be reciprocated. When we know what we want from ourselves, others and life, we are far less likely to find ourselves in emotionally turbulent relationships, situations and environments that we have no idea how we found ourselves in in the first place!’

2. Feel happier

When being yourself you’re more at peace and will probably feel less anxious. You’ll make friends with people who are more your cup of tea, make decisions of your own choice and say what you really think. In turn you’ll feel at ease and happier.

Liz says: ‘Humans are hardwired to search out connection with others. We are, at our foundation, a pack animal and like to stay safe. When we stay the same and blend in, we reduce the chance of getting hurt (physically and mentally), and yet, within this ‘comfort zone’ we restrict our growth. There is very little room or option to change when we stay within the crowd.’

3. More confidence

There’s something liberating about telling the truth. When you stop being a yes man and say what you really want, you realise that actually it’s not so hard – and the more times you do it the more confident you feel.

Liz says: ‘Challenge yourself to do something you think you can’t. Sign up for a 5K, join the local choir, ask for the pay rise. We have a tendency to bumble through life with little direction and clarity around what we really want and what we are truly capable of. Go do something way outside of your comfort zone – you’ll get to know yourself on such a deeper level and make huge leaps in confidence!’

4. Life is easier

Starting saying no and doing less makes life less complicated. Well, say no to the unnecessary things! You’ll spend less time feeling frustrated and more time doing what you actually want to do.

Liz says: ‘Take yourself out on a date. Spend time with yourself; go for a meal or a solo trip to the cinema. Take time to find out what makes you happy. Write down the things that you know feel good and do more of them. If you’re the kind of person who finds yourself saying yes, when you really mean no, say NO more!’

5. Have more fun

If you’re less stressed and more relaxed, you’re bound to have more fun and laugh more. That’s what we all need in life.

Liz tells us that when we’re truly connected to who we are, life is much easier to navigate will all its ups and downs: ‘Being yourself makes life far more straight-forward and fun; we tend to have clarity about what we want from life. When we know who we are – flaws and all – we rarely second guess ourselves or blend in with what everyone else thinks/says/does. For example, this could look like having strong values about friendships, and how you show up in them.’

Want to learn how to be more you? Try Liz’s life coaching workshops.