Introducing, Pencourage

In a world where anonymity seems near-impossible, we take a look at a website which seems to be promoting exactly that. Introducing, Pencourage

In 2014, we share everything. Posting to social media about what we had for tea, what we thought of that cute guy we clocked on the train, about #GBBO scandals, that embarrassing near-miss with a floaty skirt, what happened after too much gin and tonic and how often we hit the gym has become the norm. Usually, though, it’s done from a personal profile, complete with a carefully selected picture and cover photo, witty biographies and funny tweets, not to mention, those mobile uploads designed to make it look like we’re having tons of fun when, in fact, we might be having a pretty crap day. Studies back this up, too. Research from the York University in Canada showed we use Facebook as a façade and social media often gives us a sense of ‘false confidence’.

This is exactly why, when we heard about confessional website Pencourage (www.pencourage.com), we couldn’t help but take notice. Deemed as ‘anti-social’ media by some, Pencourage aims to bridge the gulf between what people say and what people really think.

‘The premise for Pencourage.com is ‘one day we hope your life is as wonderful as you pretend it is on Facebook’. Ironically, in a time where ‘over-sharing’ seems to be the norm, less seems to be known about what really goes on in people’s lives. Pencourage.com is the antidote to that pressure to be perfect,’ says Pencourage founder Peter Clayton.

He adds; ‘When Pencourage.com was first developed it was against a backdrop of knowns and research. In every developed country, TV soaps are the number one shows on television, so we know that peering into people’s lives appeals to the voyeuristic nature in all of us – even more so for women, according to research.’

‘Where Facebook allows us to edit our profiles, create air-brushed versions of ourselves and pressures us to keep up with others as we lay open our lives to people who know us,

 and write what they want; from their latest affair, to the boss they despise, without anyone discovering their true identity, with usernames and emails being private to everyone, including the website’s staff!’ Peter says.

Everything from the deepest darkest secrets to everyday musings are shared on the site. A quick scan and we noticed that people using Pencourage are venting, confiding and sharing for a variety of reasons. ‘Beth H’ spoke about how she’d read about Pencourage and decided it was for her – she’d recently decided to deactivate her Facebook due to it feeling like a false environment. Another, Requiem of Loss, posted: ‘it’s amazing how violent men get when you reject their advances.’ Other posts included someone talking about a recent bereavement, someone dealing with immense loneliness, someone talking about a first date, their lack of education, closure after divorce – literally, anything and anything.

But what does this kind of oversharing do to our mental state? ‘There’s something incredibly cathartic about writing so freely, walls down, putting it out there,’ says life coach Liz Goodchild (www.lizgoodchild.co.uk), ‘Often, with other social media outlets, such as Twitter and Facebook, we write inauthentically – we write what we think we should write, rather than what we want to write. Or, the opposite happens, we post a status on Facebook, for example, and we’re cryptic, we hold back, we’re passive aggressive and reactive – statuses like this rarely help, in fact, they often just sugar-coat the situation and place us in a state of victimhood, people feel sorry for us and sympathise, which never helps in the long run.’

It’s no doubt voyeuristic and a magnet for those of a nosy nature, but if Pencourage is also cathartic and helps users cope with a variety of situations, big or small, we’re all for it. And a bit of honesty in the world of Instagram filters, 140 characters and contrived posts is actually quite refreshing.

What do you think? Tweet us at @WeHeartLiving